Gender Queer

     In Gender Queer, the thing that struck me the most was how important having relationships with people who are allies or in the community, not just because they make it easier to come out, but also because you can just rant and be yourself around them with (more or less) no fear of judgement.

     However, one of the things I thought was missing out a little bit (though obviously this is an autobiography so if it didn't happen, why would it be in the book ...?) was the role allies/queer folx/plain old friends can have in the situations where Kobabe was being referred to by the wrong pronouns or with other gendered language. One of the things I was just waiting for to happen this entire book was for someone who wasn't Maia to step up and speak out that "hey, that's wrong" or "it's e actually" and stuff like that, or even with the "ladies" comment, to put the eyes on themselves and be like "hey, I'm not comfortable with that" so Kobabe emself doesn't have to deal with the backlash. Obviously, it should be talked about beforehand, but I've had friends unprompted ask if I want them to correct people on my pronouns, etc, and it is genuinely one of the most heartwarming things ever (and makes me almost cry every time lol) and I WISH KOBABE HAD HAD THAT EXPERIENCE BECAUSE IT'S GREAT ! It not only takes a lot of the pressure and fear off the trans person, but also kind of deflects a lot of the possible hatred away from the trans person themself and onto the person speaking up. I just wish this was something a lot more prevalent and was taught alongside all those don't-be-a-bystander classes that we have to take all throughout middle, high school and freshman year of college. Allies/friends can have SUCH a big impact on the amount of gender dysphoria and general discomfort I and every other trans person feels every day, and I think it's so important to have actual examples of how exactly they can help in ways that seem really small and meaningless, but mean the world to me and other trans folx :))

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