Melissa Part 2

 Acknowledging vs Understanding 


In the second half of Melissa by Alex Gino, I was focused on the role of female relationships. As an ally, Kelly had become quite possibly my favorite character, never once doubting Melissa, and proving her loyalty to her friend through so many moments of understanding and support. Compared to the relationship Melissa has with her mother, Kelly is unwavering at every opportunity. It made me think about the differences between acknowledgement and understanding. Kelly immediately accepts Melissa, never once questioning her feelings, and takes it upon herself to educate and inform herself so that she can be a pillar of support for Melissa to lean on. Giving up her second performance as Charlotte so that her friend can fulfill her small dream as well as have a moment to step into her identity, Kelly stands out drastically to many young kids. 

Comparatively, Melissa's mother goes through a much more drastic range of support for Melissa. It's understandable that a mother may have a harder time accepting such a dramatic change in regards to their child, however I found myself aggravated despite this. Her reaction to Melissa's performance as Charlotte made me so incredibly sad for her. Although it took very little time for her mother to reach out and make that effort to understand and support Melissa, such a small moment of whatever that moment was, whether it was shame, disappointment, anger, confusion, whatever, that could be so traumatic for a child to experience and could have been detrimental to their relationship. 

This is the difference between acknowledgement and understanding. Very shortly after the performance Melissa's mother breaches the gap and attempts to understand her daughter, but the reality is that she is merely acknowledging that her child is different than the image she had constructed. She is on the road to understanding, which is more than many trans children receive from their parents. While Kelly may not understand the depth and entirety of being transgender, she never wavers in her support for her friend. Her understanding is rooted in understanding Melissa herself, and knowing that her identity is her own to choose. I think that is where a lot of people fail in their relationships to trans people, and on a broader level to any person they perceive as different in a way they don't understand. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Fine Line Between Relatable and Condescending

Image
     I am just going to come right out and say it: these first few chapters of  Stamped … I hated them. Author Jason Reynolds relies heavily on the use of slang and comedy to, I would assume, ease the weight of the information being discussed, and create a more relatable connection between himself and readers. I mean, comparing the name Gomez Eanes de Zurara to a cheerleading chant (Reyonds 4)? Really? I find that many adults believe using slang or more causal, comedic language will better resonate with younger generations. However, as a member of one of these younger generations, I can confidently say that being addressed in this way can oftentimes come off as condescending, as though the author is talking down to readers. I recognize that those with less exposure to conversations about race may appreciate Reynold’s approach, sort of easing into it, if you will. And that for some, comedy is the best approach to alleviate the discomfort that comes with learning and talking about some o
Read more

Action Now

       It is interesting how King and Kolvenbach connect. In each, they are calling for action now. Both address their fellow people, King is writing to black people and supporters of the Civil Rights Movement, and Kolvenbach is speaking to Catholic, Jesuits. In his speech, “The Service of Faith and the Promotion of Justice in American Jesuit Higher Education,” Kolvenbach acknowledges that a huge component of the Jesuit faith is learning and education. Jesuit institutes have developed greatly and are creating groundbreaking discoveries and new technologies. Education is great but it is nothing without applying it. If learning was all that mattered, there would not be these impressive institutes. Now Kolvenbach is not saying that education is unimportant or worthless, but rather that it is not enough. And just like how education is not enough, so too is faith. It is all fine and dandy that you believe in God’s word and the teachings of Jesus Christ, but you are cutting yourself short
Read more

Fisk Kolvenbach and King Response

  Kolvenbach and King Response   Both of these readings tackled the same issues, but the one that stuck out to me the most was the necessity of hands-on or first-hand experience in order to better understand how oppression impacts people and how to better fight for justice. King writes that “I don’t believe you would have so warmly commended the police force if you had seen the angry violent dogs literally bitin g six unarmed, nonviolent Negroes. I don’t believe you would so quickly commend the policemen if you would observe their ugly and inhuman treatment of Negroes here in the city jail; if you would w atch them push and curse old Negro women and young Negro girls; if you would see them slap and kick old Negro men and young boys, if you would observe them, as they did on two occasions , refusing to give us food because we wanted to sing our gra ce together” (King 5). The lack of experience that the religious leaders criticising him have with regards to the real tre
Read more